While there is often online demand for individual TRMS clips, tonight's fake presidential address drew a lot of requests for the transcript. So below is a rushed, possibly-not-quite-exactly-every-single-word-in-the-right-order transcript of tonight's speech that is at least close enough for reference purposes.
View the video of the segment here.
Good evening.
I'm here to announce three major developments in the response to the BP Oil Disaster that continues, right now, to ravage the beloved Gulf Coast of the United States of America.
I wish I could tell you that the first development is that BP has capped the well, stopped the leak. They haven't. They can't. They don't know how. And no one else does either. Their best hope is a relief well, which poses its own risks and challenges, and which even in a best case scenario, affords no relief until August.
All the might of this, the mightiest nation on earth, and the combined expertise of the richest, most technologically ambitious corporations the world has ever seen, cannot, it turns out, cap an oil well when it breaks five thousand feet-deep in the ocean. It is something that mankind does not yet have the technological capability to fix.
And that brings us to the first development in this disaster that I am announcing tonight: Never again, will any company, anyone, be allowed to drill in a location where they are incapable of dealing with the potential consequences of that drilling.
When the benefits of drilling accrue to a private company, but the risks of that drilling accrue to we the American people, whose waters and shoreline are savaged when things go wrong, I as Fake President stand on the side of the American people, and say to the industry: From this day forward, if you cannot handle the risk, you no longer will take chances with our fate, to reap your rewards.
Our nation's regulatory oversight of the oil industry has been a joke in many ways, for decades -- from the revolving door of industry apparatchiks taking supposed "oversight" jobs in government, in which they just rubberstamped the desires of the industry to which they were loyal -- to energy industry lobbyists, themselves being allowed, in secret meetings, to write our nation's energy policies.
In light of the state of the Gulf right now, my fellow Americans, the details of how industry has infiltrated and infected the government that was supposed to be a watchdog protecting the American public from them -- those details are enough to turn your stomach. But no detail tells you more about the corroding power of the industry against the interests of the American people than the simple fact that they have been allowed to drill in American waters, without being forced to first prove that drilling is safe.
That will never happen again, as long as I am Fake President.
When I announced in March, that my administration's energy policy would include expanded offshore drilling, that policy change was premised on our acceptance of the oil industry's assurances that they knew how to do such drilling safely. They were lying. It cannot be done safely -- not when no technology exists to cap a blowout on the sea floor.
Offshore drilling will not be expanded in American waters, the moratorium will be held firm and in place, unless and until the industry conclusively demonstrates major advances in safety. Oil industry jobs are important, and I will work with industry to mitigate the impact on American families who survive on oil company paychecks -- but in the 21st century, and in the name of the 11 workers who were killed when the Deepwater Horizon rig blew out, we will not play Russian Roulette with workers' lives, and we will not play Russian Roulette with irreversible, national, environmental disaster for the sake of short-term income.
The second major development I'm announcing tonight, my fellow Americans, concerns another oil industry assurance that we can no longer believe. The industry, has long assured us that they were capable of handling spilled oil. In BP's own disaster response plan for the Gulf of Mexico, they claimed they were perfectly capable of containing, and cleaning-up, up to 250,000 barrels of oil a day. That no significant amount of an oil spill of even that size would get to shore, foul beaches, kill wildlife, or destroy wetlands. They were lying.
And the industry is lying when it says it takes seriously its responsibilities to contain and clean-up disasters they cause. The same low-tech, inffective equipment and techniques are being used to respond to this oil disaster today, as were used in the 1960s and '70s to respond to spills back then. That's because the industry hasn't invested in any new containment and cleanup technology in all of these decades. Because they haven't cared too much about it, as an issue.
And it shows. It shows both in the inept technology that we have to deploy, to contain and clean-up a spill like this, and in the lackadaisical, uncoordinated, unprofessional way this inept technology has been deployed by BP.
Beaches have been fouled and wetlands destroyed and wildlife killed that should have been saved. Pensacola Bay in Florida, if properly boomed, should never have been breached by oil. Perdido Pass at Orange Beach, Alabama, should never have been breached by oil. Queen Bess Island, the pelican nesting ground in Barataria Bay in Louisiana, Barataria Bay itself, none of these areas should have been breached by oil -- even given the sad state of existing technology to stop it -- but the fact that those areas were breached is BP's human error.
And tonight, as Fake President, I'm announcing a new federal command specifically for containment and cleanup of oil that has already entered the Gulf of Mexico, with a priority on protecting shoreline that can still be saved; shoreline that is vulnerable to oil that has not yet been hit. I have asked the Secretary of State, Hilary Clinton, to assist me in the diplomatic side of this -- in soliciting, greenlighting and expediting all international offers of help from experts in booming and skimming from all over the world. We will bring in the best experts and the best equipment from anywhere on Earth, to dramatically increase our efforts to get the oil out of the water, and off of the coast.
Oil industry workers are often trained in booming and skimming. I am hereby directing BP to fund booming-and-skimming crash academies for all available oil industry personnel, anywhere in the world, to radically overhaul what has been a haphazard, half-hearted, totally unacceptable protection effort. Starting immediately. No expense will be spared and no excuses will be brooked. Even if the oil leak is capped today, the oil in the water will continue to surge toward shore for weeks if not months. As Fake President, I will personally issue a public update on cleanup and containment efforts every single day until this disaster is under control.
And finally, the third development I have to announce to you tonight in the response to this oil disaster is about how we got here, and how that will change. Every president in the modern era has complained that America must get off oil. Richard Nixon, Gerald Ford, Jimmy Carter, Ronald Reagan, George H. W. Bush, Bill Clinton, George W. Bush -- and now I, Fake President Obama -- have all intoned, solemnly, that we must get off oil.
Now that we have, at the hands of the oil industry, experienced the worst environmental disaster in American history, the time for talk is over. The world is different now. Our country is different now. The scales have fallen from our eyes. People say we're not ready? They're right. We're not ready. We also weren't ready to fight in World War 2 before Pearl Harbor, but events forced that upon us, and events have forced this fight upon us now. I no longer say that we must get off oil like every president before me has said too. I no longer say that we must get off oil. We will get off oil and here's how:
The United States Senate will pass an energy bill. This year. The Senate version of the bill will not expand offshore drilling. The earlier targets in that bill for energy efficiency and for renewable energy-sources will be doubled or tripled.
If Senators use the filibuster to stop the bill, we will pass it by reconciliation, which still ensures a majority vote. If there are elements of the bill that cannot procedurally be passed by reconciliation, if those elements can be instituted by executive order, I will institute them by executive order.
The political cowardice that has kept politicians from doing right by this country, finally, on energy, and standing up to the oil industry -- that cowardice has been drowned; drowned in oil on Queen Bess Island. There is a new reality in this country that has been forced on us by this disaster.
As Fake President, I pledge to you that the land and sea and livelihood and lives of the American people will be put first. As we do everything that is humanly possible to stop this disaster. We will never again let the oil industry put America at this kind of risk. We will save what can still be saved that is directly at risk from the oil in the Gulf. And we will free ourselves, as a nation, once and for all, from the grip of this industry that's lied to us as much as it has exploited us, as much as it has befouled us with its toxic effluent.
The oil age, America, is over. If you are with me, let your Senator know it.
I'll next speak to you about the BP oil disaster tomorrow, with my first public update on the cleanup effort in the Gulf.
God bless you, and God bless the United States of America.
Oh, and also -- I've decided I'm not a White Sox fan anymore. I'm a Red Sox fan. And I'm closing Guantanamo. KTHXBAI
Leave a Comment:
What I like about Rachel is that she stands for what she believes. She can rewrite the presidential address and convey the message with respect and authority. I think is was great!
I appreciate her talking about minorities and their struggle for respect and its rights. She speaks the truth for many of us who do no have access to media channels.
Rachel can genuinely and candidly convey her message because she is NOT pretending to be someone else, she is honest and straight forward about who she is and what she thinks. It is absolutely amazing that she is the first "different" person to be in the media to behave "differently". By this I mean, she is allowed to express her views on a given topic in ways that other professionals in the media do not allowed themselves to do.
I am very pleased that MSMBC was open minded enough to give her the opportunity to have her program. As a West Coast Person who lives between Malibu and Aptos in Northern California,I have very liberal views on many topics, we needed a person like Rachel on TV, who can reach out. I did not know about Rachel until she appeared on some political programs on MSMBC.
I always believed that there is a lack of opportunities for minorities. Rachel is a minority, and she is intellectually interesting.
There are many intellectual activists and minority individuals, however they are not as known as she is. In general the Media do not hire "out of the box" roll models, for fear or politics.
I hope the media will develop a tendency of hiring minorities and I hope the communities will develop tolerance for minorities, learn about minorities, and realize that we are all equal.
I know what is like to have been discriminated and I have been treated with no respect.
I am a woman, I am a wife, I am a mother, I am a professional, but I was born overseas, I speak 3 languages.
I have a Doctor of Medicine Degree equivalent to the regionally accredited universities in the United States. Certified by the "IERF". Usually people at work or in College ( CSSM) were not really including me for activities and even avoided me, I felt isolated in many ways. I am extremely social and definitely not shy, but I have to admit that many times I felt segregated.
People must learn about tolerance in this world, and be less judgmental, we are basically the same, we are all human beings, with similar basic dreams and we should be respected no matter what.
Thank you for listening and next time you are in front of a "different" person, be kind, because it could happen to you, it depends on the eye of the beholder and what part of this world you live in.
Best Regards
A. L. B. C.
I've heard the term "wit of the stair" in english. Of course Wikipedia has an article about it:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Staircase_wit
Now this has got to be coming from someone who has got their head screwed on right. I really like a lot of things that Rachel has got to say, but since the President's speech she's acting like someone who is really out of touch with the realities of life on this planet. The fact still remains that he is just one man working with what he has been given. Yes we may call him the most powerful man on the planet, but is that really true ? All that I can see is that he had a lot on his plate when he first got the damn job of fixing the problems the last most powerful man on the planet left us the American people with. And you haven't heard a word from him since this spill. Oh yeah Texas is not being affected. The fact of the matter is this if we don't come together and work together to help our President to solve this mess, instead of trying to make ourselves look like we could do a better job, things are really going to get out of control. Lets not make trouble for our leaders.
Rachel, I'd love to have a blotchy president (though didn't see any of your blotches)! My husband and I are extremely loyal fans and we just keep wondering how you do it! You are almost always "Right on" and tonight you were absolutely fantastic! As I've read so many of the comments from others (MontanoDepeche, Jim Kirkland, Tulio, CMRD & others) who have praised you and appreciate all that you are and what you do, I know that I can't say it any better or nearly as eloquently as many, but you have my great admiration! You have to have a well-qualified, hard-working and dedicated staff, too, that deserves great credit for the Rachel Maddow Show as well. This is the first time I've ever written on anyone's blog, but I really felt like I had to express these feelings tonight.
No Rachel, I'm not going to bash you or say anything that would ruin you standing as a good and honest reporter of current events, such as this crisis in the Gulf. But Your comments since the President's speech have me wondering if I was wrong in my opinion of your abilities as a fair and honest reporter or just someone seeking 15 min. of fame like a lot of reporters. Saying things that are really not worth saying. Doing little skits like a late night comedian, _hit's really sad coming from someone so gifted. I hope that in the coming days you can find something worth saying. Still luv ya.
Rachel:
PLEASE run for president.
Run as INDEPENDENT!. PLEASE!!!!!!!! You have my vote.
That was AWESOME! (Why aren't you on staff instead of Favreau?!?!?!)
My hero.
That is all.
Fantastic!
Now that was something. Before the President went on I said to myself, "Let today be the day when our president says enough is enough". You've hit the nail on the head. Squarely.
Of all Obama's speeches, his Oval Office speech did not measure up to his regular speeches - not by a long shot. It was neither inspirational nor particularily informative. I was very disappointed! Your fake speech Rachel, was what I had hoped he had delivered too. I think we had expected we voted for another FDR and we got Bill Clinton instead.
Rachel, I watch your show almost every night. I am often impressed with your intellect and factual reporting.Tonight I feel frustrated and let down.President Obama has accomplished so much in 18 months. With all of the messes he has to fix here and abroad a lesser man would have crumbled.I cannot understand how intelligent people criticize style over substance.With the constant hate that is leveled against him and the political climate that we are in, I think our country would be better served if those of us who want our president to succeed would talk about who the real enemies of democracy are and go after them.Are you all so blinded by ideology that you have lost all critical thinking skills? The right is against our president and now so is the left.With all of this negativity you are contributing to the climate of hate and fear that will be the undoing of this great man.Do me a favor... look at what he has accomplished so far and compare that to previous administrations, then ask yourself where we would be with Mcain/Palin. Now imagine them leading us in 2012.When you wake up from that nightmare and realize what you have thrown away it will be to late. But heck T.V. is ratings driven and if hating on our president has fox news at #1 why not MSNBC. Too damn bad if it sends us deeper into the pits of hell that the last 8 years have wrought, the ratings will be great and the despair will be televised.
Rachel...President Obama does not need any more crap from people . He gets enough. You have a TV show....a progressive TV show...what the hell are you thinking? You just bashed the President...your President. President Obama is doing the best he can and he needs your help...not critique. (I do not agree with your "fix" of the President's Oval Office Address) President Obama knows more than you do about the state of this country and the world. Your opinion is just that...your opinion. Report the news, offer your exteme intelligence to your viewers...but stay out of the oval office.
Anyone that doesn't want crap from the American people should not run for any office, especially President.
Linda- What Rachel did was present a editorial viewpoint not a critical one. Watching her "Fake President" speech I as many others thought "That is what I wanted President Obama's speech to be. I am a Fan of Rachel and MSNBC I don't want them backing the President and other progressives right or wrong. This of it as being a fan of a Sports Team when they are playing well and winning you speak of them in endearing terms but if they are losing and making stupid mistakes who get's the Blame ? The Coach. Well in this instance we are not playing well and President Obama is the coach we need to be critical if needed.
Hi Rachel, I thought your rewrite was far more presidential and comforting than Obama’s. Your three points (cap pipe, protect environment and pass green regulations) were exactly what our bought-and-paid-for president should have told us. But I do have one bone to pick with you, or, more so, with MSNBC. From your green commercial ads to your shows that promote green regulations, I can definitely see a conflict of interest. I have gone to a few of the website links, which I had gotten from the commercials, and they all promote the Kerry-Lieberman bill. So, since this bill is flooded with nuclear power incentives and MSNBC’s parent company (GE) is also the parent company of a nuclear instruments manufacturer (GE Energy), every time I see one of these commercials or one of your shows promoting green regulations, I cannot help but wonder if you guys are trying to inform us or if you are just trying to sell us on this bill. Maybe your shows and commercials should have disclaimers when promoting green regulations and this energy bill (directly and indirectly). I know this involves a lot of money for a multinational corporation like GE, so maybe it would be better if you were to remain quiet. I’m sure you know what is best for you and your viewers.
What does offshore drilling and nuclear energy have in common? Multinational corporations have assured us that both are safe -- [ba-dum-bum] -- thanks, Smitty.
I agree that GE has the ultimate control over what subjects get covered.
While England and BP itself is cover-able...the high physics being drawn in the crops of Britain and the World by unknown scientific means leaving behind electro-magnetic fields and iron particles. These glyphs are intricate engineered designs of real objects in real crops with non-man-made damage by microwave heat in delicate lines, spirals of sacred geometry.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7XDFT0Yv_hg
http://www.archive.org/details/DavidSereda-DifferentialsCropCirclesAndAnti-gravity
GE can STILL make money in the technology of electro-magnetic and anti-gravitic engines. Humans won't need to be wired for power...only information. Nukes continues the "umbilical cord" to the 'power' companies. Magnetic field motors cuts that cord and "TPTB" will do ANYTHING to keep it.
It is an area Meanstream Media will not touch...
Despite the Honorable people behind the truth...
http://patriotsquestion911.com/
Bob.
Lots of folks are defending Obama's weak response to the oil disaster by citing everything he's done that's totally unrelated to the oil disaster.
When you govern from the center, you're going to get hit from both the left and the right.
Rachel's speech spoke to the Democratic base. Obama hasn't figured out that triangulation doesn't work anymore...the conservatives are already onto it. There's no way to be more conservative than a conservative like Clinton did unless he does something insane like criminalize homosexuality.
Rachel has good points, BUT, there is no way that BP or any other company or person can do is to predict the unpredictable.
BP did have some safeguards, but the order to institute that safeguard was halted by the proverbial chain of command---the guy who could have pushed the button waited for someone else to tell him too.
BUT----BP did not install the 500M safeguard that Cheyney and Bush agreed to. BUT, would that have worked? Would the same guy have waited to push the button on that one?
The answer of course is to but all the marbles on wind, solar, wave and geothermal alternatives. BUT---if the well is capped, do you think anyone will remember their thoughts of today? Not. Just as we started using more gasoline after it rose to over $4.00 a gallon, we will forget about BP and all that we are talking about now.
By "we", I don't mean all you good people who do care--I mean those who don't THINK. SO, what can WE do about it? I am about to launch a program fo US to become involved---putting OUR money where our mouths are. Not a lot of money. Just enough so that all the people who won't care after the spill is stopped won't miss it. I'm talking about cents. Pennies a day. Pennies a day by millions of people can mean big bucks for wind turbines, solar panels, for research and development.
It's been said that an e-mail sent to every person on your address list, and then forwarded to every person on their lists will reach everyone in the world in 24 hours. I've done this before---make it extremely easy for people to do something and they WILL do it. I don't care if they DON"T care. Making them out to be fools is very, very rewarding. If they don't care about the environment, it doesn't matter. They WILL care if they think that they are getting something, in this case cheaper gas at the pump or cheaper electricity to run their air conditioners.
It's pidgiesplace@live.com if you want to become involved. I really hope that I will hear from each of you. I also ask for your opinions and solutions to what WE can do.
I only ask that for now, only you who have seen these comments reply. The millions who are to come will be referred to a website that is being built.
I KNOW that I am going to hear from you.
Kerry
RACHEL----put a cork in it! In the hole in the ocean.
When I first saw that BP was going to use an inverted funnel, I thought that they were going to do what I thought of. A "V" shaped solid metal or concrete plug. That should do it. Of course it would have to be of such a weight that it can broach the pressure of the oil coming out---some scientist or engineer can figure that out.
If it crushes the well head--let it crush it. If that is of concern, the "V" shaped thingy could be suspended over the well by an "A" frame and lowered to suit.
You've got the power to suggest that to BP. I doubt if they even read the e-mails that they have been asking for. The poor fools who they have reading these things are probably afraid to pass on the suggestions. YOU can do it.
OK, here's some engineering. BP says the oil is gushing at 30,000 PSI. Almost unbelievable, but that's their number. If nothing but the 7 inch drill pipe needs plugging, it would take 3,627,080 pounds of concrete to hold against that kind of pressure. However, it seems the oil is coming out of the entire 21 inch riser pipe at that pressure. That would require a little more - 32,643,716 pounds of concrete. This is why "Top Kill" involved millions of pounds of mud. However, BP couldn't shove it down as fast as the high pressure well spit it out. Many experts believe they broke the riser casing in the progress. Game over, because no matter how big a cork is put in the top, the oil will spew out of the broken casing and just come up through the porous ocean floor around the riser. Now that the riser casing is broken, any attempt to cap from the top will just make things worse. Better to funnel it up as they are doing, and if they can use a bigger funnel to catch more, so much the better.
CNN Bill Nye BP CAP IMAGE: http://ow.ly/1Vnkh REAL BP CAP IMAGE: http://ow.ly/1VnkU
So why were, and still are, violating the laws of fluid dynamics. If such a Noble Proze Winner is "On Top of This"...explain why the oil is not cooperating properly in real world? Why did NIST say Bldg 7 say it DID indeed have 2.45 seconds of "0-G Free-Fall"...contrary to laws of physics and a Smoking Building in the Government's 911 Conspiracy.
It is about keeping ALL of us on an energy umbilical cord.
ONLY home generating magnetic engines will cut that cord forever.
http://www.archive.org/details/DavidSereda-DifferentialsCropCirclesAndAnti-gravity
Wow....great speech!!! Yeah....if Obama said what Rachael said Id be energized.....lets hope the White House will catch wind of this "fake" speech and employ her ideas. I fly fish up here in the Adirondack Mountains....while fishing last week I imagined oil overtaking the stream....how horrible would that be. My heart goes out to the fisher folks in the Gulf! I heard that the oil that has spilled would only power our country for 4 hours...its definately not worth it. Clean Energy has GOT to take hold NOW!
Well said. Edited version gets rid or the "never' stuff.. some of us were trained to avoid that word.
I would add a response to the PR being shoved down our throats from BP.. You did many many illegal corrupt things and trashed us.. now you keep using the word 'legitimate claims'.. my response is 'shut up! Pay every bill now, pay fast, pay inflated bills, pay fake bills, pay, consider it amends. If corporations are people now act human! Pay sit and write checks we will tell you when to stop. sit write. write pink slips write checks. Write!
Bullies break every law known to God and Man and then try to evoke the laws to protect themselves. No more. Smash their collective 'glass jaw'.
Carol Brownell Brundage
Oh Rachel, that speech. That speech. Like Dick Army, you should get a bus and do a summer tour of your show around the country. Wouldn't that be great? I think your staff would love it, infiltrating different cities educating them about educating themselves. Who knows? Maybe you and Dick Army can meet up in the same city?! how funny that would be for a show.
Oh, go do it!!!! Do a traveling show around the country for the summer.
Rachel - if you could look through the camera and see your audience I believe last night you would have seen hundreds of thousands giving you a standing ovation. This was one of your Shinning Moments. Way to Go. I hope that other network your know the one that "Reports and let's us decide" Get's hold of this runs it and tries to rebuke it" Maddow in 2012
I also liked the fake speech. I would have added one more point. I would have added a Civilian Conservation Corps of maybe 10,000 people to clean the shore (exact number negotiable).
Someone already mentioned it, but it's worth a second shot. Rachel may not feel she has the personality to be a politician, but how about speech writer? Think about it.
It was too long and I could not dance to it.
FAIL
Here ya go, dance the night away.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qZezfjWox5s
Like Obama in his speech, you did not mention last night all the toxic soup in the Gulf which not only threatens the fish and wildlife but the People who will have to live in that toxic environment for decades. As fake president, you should have ordered the CDC and EPA to the Gulf. Additionally, you should have declared the Gulf to be immediately listed as a Toxic Waste Superfund Site.
Dear Madame Fake President Maddow, now is the time we bring the full power of all the environmental groups, from Greenpeace to the Sierra Club and beyond, together to force Real President Obama to take these policies you've so elegantly enumerated. If he fails to do so, we oust him in the 2012 Democratic primary.