now i can finally enter! I wonder how many others are affected? I know at least 3..I note the similarity of Newt & Fred Flintstone ;) good pix Will ;)

So, what I am hearing Rick Tyler say here is this: coming soon - the Newt Gingrich comic book series. In it, the evil Literati have armed sheep minions and cocktail parties, and also, Newt Gingrich is invincible.

I've read this and re-read this. I'm having difficulty understanding at what point in the political timeline the story begins, where Gingrich enters and who the players are.
The Literati I'm guessing is the press (though the word means "the scholarly ones.") What about Washington ... is this all of Washington, just Obama, just Democrats? Is this referencing Bill Clinton's era or now?
I have no idea what the "firefight" is, who the "cowards" are involved or what the "sensed weakness" is.

Even when read backwards, once I know the who thought, it doesn't really gel ... Gingrich emerges after taking "bullets" in the form of tweets and media attacks. The "sheep" of "Washington's Establishment" fire at him timidly then boldly. The fight was started by the intolerant Washington Establishment.

Mostly I'm confused as to how this resonated so strongly with the staff at TRMS. There is just too little context for me to make sense of the content. Am I the only one confused as to what this poem is referencing or why it's humorous? I get that it's an over-the-top portrayal of Gingrich as a hero standing after a battle. I just don't understand What Battle, When, Started by Who specifically ... again, lack of context.

Am I alone here?

OK, I'm ready for the rapture, now.

Wonderful, Will! I love the Gingrich fail whale and the fusion of Newt and Arnold.

Wow! Mr. Gingrich, your face really doesn't do your body justice~as a gay man, I had a take a second look.

Somehow, I believe this might turn your stomach. It would mine if I knew that was your real self. Does anybody know the real you? You have spoken out so many orifices on so many different issues to so many different target audiences, it's tough to keep track of where it all began.

Also, an FYI to everybody: The proper pronunciation of Gingrich is G-(hard g-sound)-ing-r-ick. NOT the (rich, as in Donald Trump's bank account) ending. Again it is: Ging-rick. The reason he has allowed people to mispronounce it for so long is back when his family moved from the Pennsylvania area to the South, people in the South couldn't get it wrapped around their minds or eye teeth or whatever (I'm from the South, so I can say this) to make that hard 'ick' sounding ending to his last name. The Gingrich family just decided to go along with that pronunciation -- truthfully, what else could they do?

That was very good! Thanks TRMS and especially Will Femia! Made my morning.

Now I'm reminded of that so-bad-its-good comic book 'Barack the Barbarian' (from the Maddowian Chronicles- no joke!).

I personally like the sheep reference...though with Newt's history of sexual adventures he might be wise to exclude any references to barnyard creatures.

He won't be intimated? Is that a (sic)?

Ok, I'll admit he looks rather dashing here in a swaggering, Schwrarzenneggerish sort of way. Still, I can only think of Pillsbury's Doughboy (with sincere apologies to the dough-dude) whenever I see His Sweatiness waddling to and fro from here to hopefully much farther over there. Valiant try, Will, but glitter still sticks to the lipsticked lips of porcine varmints.

Will. Utter brilliance, Man.

I blew your interpretive masterpiece up to 400% in my browser to better appreciate the detail and I could not look away. Until I felt my eyes start melting.

Not sure whether it was my sinfully progressive unworthiness to gaze fully upon Newt's heroic and godlike physique or whether the wolf-in-sheep's-clothing's demonic glare was putting a hex on me though.

You took gibberish and made some awesome with it. Kudos.

Mythic. Larger than politics. Nixonianally outside the box. After a Gingrich presidency I guarantee the country would be very different. Not necessarily better, but definitely different.

That press release was most likely written by William R. Forstchen, Newt's "co" author.  Mr. Forstchen was also my high school history teacher.  Anybody who sat through his Military History class would recognize this language.  He is a good writer of fiction, also.  But I think they aught to let somebody else word the releases.

Crush your enemies! See dem driven before you! AND HEAR DA LAMENTATION OF DA WIMMIN!

The "poor" press secretary that had to write that. To the realease's credit, it is written like a fairy tale which is exactly what blaming the "liberal media" is all about. The truth hurts.

I was actually hoping that Newt would stand his ground on Paul Ryan comments and really shake things up for the GOP. But alas, the forces of evil were too strong...

Next, Will, could you do Newt as Fabio in a romance novel sequence extolling his many virile virtues? Pretty please?

to quote the almost 4 year old Grand Dude..."is that a Munchkin?"

LMAO!!

Names are names. I like to think of him as the Newter. Form your own thoughts on that.

When discussing Newt's various adventures why not mention that he married his high school math teacher shortly after graduating. Probably to avoid draft.

 I cannot believe TRMS is allowing Exxon Mobile to sponsor it.  Does Rachel know?