As both Rachel and Steve Benen pointed out recently, the Fox Nation web site has a singular way with words.
For instance, the headline above? Obama Regime: Working Outdoors Can Kill You
That story is actually about OSHA warning people who work outside to get enough water, rest and sit in the shade from time to time.
Though in Fox Nation's hands, this innocuous, even slightly boring story, becomes an anxiety-filled conspira-bomb pointed squarely at the heart of our socialist overlords. Whaddaya mean, hydrate? DON'T TELL ME TO HYDRATE!
Once the lizard brain fear and indignation subsides, (and it does take a while,) another, equally powerful feeling takes its place: why can't I do that?
So let's give it a try, shall we? Here are three fairly sedate headlines from today's news:
- College Sweethearts Find Love Again After 60 Years Apart
- Apple Readies iPhone With Bigger Screen: Sources
- London 2012: Olympic Flame Tours Greece
Given the Fox Nation treatment, they might read:
- Obamacare Punishes Elderly For 60 Years
- Obama Silent While Deadly New Terror Screen Sets Stage For Cyber-Jihad
- Obama Parties With Clooney While Greece Burns
Now it's your turn. Infoxify the above three headlines (or different ones, if you give and cite the original first) and we'll post the winners tomorrow. Enjoy!
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Obama's Gay Agenda Keeps Hıgh School Sweethearts From Marryıng For 60 Years
Obama Refuses To Allow New ıPhone In Whıte House; Threat To Entrepreneurs
Bıden: "Torch Greece" As Obama Ignores Global Threat
Obama's lax defense of marraige encourages gay couple to come out of the closet after 60 yrs of living morally. Obama's says Apple big screen encourage obesity Obama supports rainbows and flaming Greek display
1) Obama reunites sixties radicals in drug-fueled love-in
2) Obama calls for 24/7 porn accessibility.
3) Obama watches torch via magnificent UK omni-camera network
Bankrupt Greeks attempt to smother UK Olympic flame.
Kenyan Socialist sparks Lesbian Geezer Orgy!
In London Apple Readies were sweethearts. And 2012 btw/
Elitist Ed Under Obama's Regime: Waging War On True Love For Over Half Century
Obama's Regime: Granted Death Panels, Now Attacking American Communication
Obama Turns Blind Eye To Nazi Puppet State Torching London
Couples reunite, despite opposition from administration....
Administration spooks study you though new iPhone...
Obama ignores Greek ceremony to play golf.....
1. Obama Medicare plan forces seniors to marry or risk financial ruin.
2. Larger screen iPhone allows Obama administration to readily spy on Americans.
3. Anti-austerity party allows Greece to burn; Obama administration silent.
LOL Fox sure can make itself look stupid.
Elderly couple spend 60 years apart to avoid Obamacare death panels.
Nancy Pelosi encourages China to increase price of phones.
Mitt Romney successfully encourages London accept exports from Greece.
1. Obama intervenes in the lives of the elderly
2. New Obama regulations harm Apple's business
3. Brits attempt to burn Greece - Obama laughs
3) Leftist Torch-Wielding Anti-Austerity Greeks Take to Streets
1. Obama intervenes in the lives of the elderly
2. New Obama regulations harm Apple's business
3. Brits attempt to burn Greece - Obama laughs
Elitist College's Fem-nazi Social Agenda Causes 60 Lost Years of Love
Will Obama Class War Doom I-provements?
Obama To March In London Olympics Under Kenyan Flag
Despite Obama's Radicalized Gay Agenda Straight Love Strives!
Obama, The iJob Killer.
Failure Of Obama Administration Illustrated By Olympic Games being Held By Americas Enemies Twice In A Row.
1. Obama intervenes in the lives of the elderly
2. New Obama regulations harm Apple's business
3. Brits attempt to burn Greece - Obama laughs
Yesterday, Mitt Romney said there is a prairie fire of debt heading right towards our children and Obama will not put it out. Or, as Fox News would say:
"Your Children Will Burn To Death If You Vote For Obama"
1) Intellectual elites reunite for 60th anniversary of Harry Truman socializing steel mills.
2) EPA demands Apple create energy saving iphones.
3) Potential terrorist threat in Greece heading for London.
Obama Administration's War on Marriage Retroactively Keeps Sweethearts Apart for 60 Years - Defender of Traditional Marriage Rush Limbaugh Reunites Them Live on Show.
Michelle Obama's Socialist War on Free Eating Pushes For Bigger Apples - Well Known Fruit Company May Go Bankrupt
1. Obamacare rations love, separates Rose and Jack from Titanic for 60 years!
2. Obama takes over agriculture! Forces farmers to grow larger Apples!
3. Obama presides over largest Grease Fire. Churchill spins in grave.
1. Obama intervenes in the lives of the elderly
2. New Obama regulations harm Apple's business
3. Brits attempt to burn Greece - Obama laughs
* Kept apart by the Obama administration, college sweethearts finally reunite
* Dangerous iPhone features OK with Obama despite their use by terrorists
* Obama lets Greece go down in flames despite threat to the U.S.
Obamacare Death Panel reunites couple, orders them to die together
Obama's newest czar forces Apple to make bigger iPhones, citing obese Americans' "fat fingers"
Obama's War on Austerity: President sends a torch to bail out Greece