Our humble thanks to all who participated in our missing CPAC panels writing challenge. Given the overall excellence of your suggestions, I suspect some of you are secretly pining to program the Conservative Political Action Conference one day. Never say never! Here is a random assortment of your genius:
Not Just Upside-Down Commas: How to Turn Unpleasant Facts into "Facts"—Formerly Apolitical
MoveOut.Org--introducing an online movement to fix the immigration problem —microgeek
Grassroots Astroturfing Workshop: How We Turned an Anonymous Mailbox in Wyoming into a Front for a Front for a Front and Spammed a Nation —Chris Boese
Job Creators: 10 Billion Dollars Away From Sleeping Under a Bridge —Creatrix
Third marriage-- How to sell it to your constituents —A Brady
Success Tips from Emergency Managers —mmm2
The GAAYYYYYYZZZZZZ!!!! —Largenose
Karl Rove Explains the Long Game: Why Losing a Bunch of Elections Was Secretly Super Clever —Ali Davis
You Are Not a Troll. You Are a Very Useful Engine to Spread the Right Wing Talking Points--how to use your typing skills to counter the liberal offensive —microgeek
The Fight for Antiquated Ideas: How to take back 40 years of progress —ratliff8584
Habeus Porpoise: A Republican's guide to writing off a family vacation in Orlando as a business expense —BuerreBlanc
Special Evening Program: Glenn Beck Shouting Something about Bowler Hats —Ali Davis
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Bravo
Bonus points for working in "Bowler Hats"...not enough Bowler hat jokes these days
My Dear Mr. Jones,
Once again, my heart be stilled. An AED my last resort. All this time I've been searching for the right words to woo the wit of you. Chicago in winter? What else is there to do?
It would seem the walls that once stood between us have crumbled like Marco's hopes. Each night I look to the sky for signs of that red head of hair hovering from the heavens. Until now, I've seen nothing but abandoned Christmas lights dangerously dangling from 14th floor balconies.
Light pollution be damned. DA14 is not even a close second. Your attention is like a flying, angry bird straight to my heart.
Oh, fairest Satirical Wizard, I shall sleep well tonight.
Very truly yours,
MG
Aw, no love for my cosplay parade idea? Ah well.
Hehe. I kid. Lots of great ones there, all! :)
I was totally down with the cosplay parade. I even started getting ideas for costumes (other than the rubber Reagan masks, which would be given out to non-costumed people at the door, so they wouldn't be embarrassed).
repoops firmly believe that the ends justify the means. this is most revealing when you realize that the ends are objects and the means are activities/events. so you see that the "objects" are the winning horders in a game for all the marbles. do you really want your grandchildren born into a world that is all privately owned by a few and their pimped out thieving whores who do absolutely ANYTHING for money - in that the means is immaterial, like torture, depriving others of life support, writing laws policies and procedures that render you as expendable as if you were one of bashar al-assad's protestors?
you aint seen nothing yet.
Secretly? No, I was pretty open about it! I want a spot on the programming committee!
Congrats, lots of creativity there.
Exercise break with Marco Rubio: Do the Lubricant Lurch!
Plus recreational dodge ball to keep up those dodging skills when not in D.C.
Wow. I want to laugh, but I also kinda want to barf. :P
I DEMAND A RECOUNT!! :-p
Awww, nothing on bashing migrants at a Tea Party rally while your Guatemalan nanny minds the kids at home?
Pete Wilson, you da man!
Kudos to everyone's entries, it gave me a good chuckle.
(with a slight dose of "ikr" here and there.)